Friday, August 14, 2009

Last Official Day of Summer :-(

I am coming to you from a funk. It's my last day of summer, my last day of maternity leave, my last day of being a SAHM. (Stay at home mom....) I have such mixed emotions. I feel completely split in half. Half of me wishes I could be home with her every day, play the days away, watch her every development, relish in her every little move .... resisting the fact that time goes way too fast. The other half of me is thrilled to resume my post in a third grade classroom, to carry out a profession that truly calls my heart. You see, I love, love, love third graders and I truly enjoy going to work. But my love for this baby trumps that by a million miles! This has been one of the hardest decisions I have ever made...and although I feel in my heart that we have made the right decision for our family, I know it's going to be hard. I am thankful to have such an incredible team of close girlfriends to return to, a supportive principal, and a fun staff full of people who truly care about me. I am thankful BEYOND words to have Courtney to watch Addie during the day. But I am going to miss her so much. Someone told me when I was pregnant to get ready for my heart to beat outside of my body. That is just the tip of the iceberg! I bought a magnet when we went to Oregon in June. It says, "Choose with no regrets...." I have chosen. Will you pray for us next week? I know Addie will be fine. I know I will be fine. And I know that God has a special group of 8 and 9 year olds that He has handpicked for me. I have a calling...to go and make a difference for those kids, to sometimes be the only hug some of them receive in their day....so here I go.....

7 comments:

Jessica said...

God provides AND will continue to provide.... What else can we say??? I love you!!! I'm praying for a great successful year in ALL AREAS!!!

Lindsay said...

I understand your funk completely. I am in a funk too because I don't want to go back to work, but I know how scary the first time back is for a new mom. I was you last summer! It will be challenging, but it will get easier. So much easier, I promise! Addie will be in great hands & momma will get to go back to the kids at school who need her too. You are an incredible mom & Addie knows you are also an incredible teacher, so she doesn't mind sharing you! I'll be thinking about you this week- just email or call me if you want to vent & share stories!

Darling Daughters said...

I understand too! Remember that you are not alone. There are soooooo many working moms who know what it's like to leave their babies behind. You'll just love her that much more when you hold her again.

Greta S. said...

Michelle,
I am praying with you for a great year!
Love,
Greta

Sharon said...

Michelle, I know in all of this your biggest goal has been to glorify God and I have seen that every step of the way. I'm so proud of you for handling this all in such a faithful way. And, I am so glad that your decision was to come back...I know the biggest factor was being my reading buddy.:) Love you friend.

brandonandmandycox said...

You are such a good mommy! No worries... :)

hillarylaird said...

Still praying for ya'll and week 2! God is good and the balance will come, I'm sure of it! Love you!